The Treasure of the Black Pearl
Every great man has their Gentlemen’s Club. Every deity has their Hot Chocolate Salon, and since every woman is a goddess, I have my Koko Monk Hot Chocolate Lounge.
I was most heartbroken by the news that Koko Monk - a real gem of Vancouver, with seventeen hot chocolate varieties at time of writing - had closed its location close to Kitsilano Beach. Thank heavens their Broadway location remained intact, else I might have never gotten out of bed ever again. Truthfully, Koko Monk ranks near the very top of my favourite hot chocolate spots list, and one day I will have tried every single one of their creative treasures. Today I limit myself to discussing a hot chocolate that sounds like it belongs in a treasure box: the Black Pearl.
The Black Pearl is described as Koko Monk’s “signature velvetty rich sipping dark chocolate (with optional orange zest)”. Instantly, I fell in love. Do you see how easy it is to sway a woman if one only tries? When I first ordered this drink in the nascent days of my obsession, the barista preached caution: this was an intense hot chocolate. She warned that it involved melting an entire chocolate bar, as though such a feat would frighten me. Though heeding the oracle’s warning, I eagerly embarked on my quest for treasure, and I found it in the form of glass mug, dripping in chocolate and topped with fluffy whipped cream. As though handing me my sword for the climax of this treasure hunt, the barista gave me a long, silver spoon.
The spoon was perhaps warranted, for this was one of the thickest hot chocolates that I have tried. It was an explosion of taste: cardamom, orange zest, deep dark chocolate, and just the right level of sweetness. This was the drink that led to my integration of cardamom into my earliest hot chocolate recipe. I fell into amorous raptures. Here was proof that commercially produced hot chocolates could be incredible!
It was quite near perfect. Texture: smooth. Taste: varied, yet not conflicting. Presentation: lovely. My only critique - and this may be surprising - is that there was too much of it. Hot chocolates ought to be rich, but drinkers must not fall prey to avarice, or their souls might be destroyed. I could not finish the dregs - perhaps the oracle had been right. It is my philosophy that hot chocolates must sacrifice quantity for quality. It is best to have a small amount of a very rich hot chocolate. Here is my prophetic warning: if a rich hot chocolate is too plentiful, the drinker will grow sick of it, and the whole experience will be somewhat tainted. It is best to limit hot chocolate to half a cup. Drinkers are left wanting more, savouring the taste, and not thinking about their impending stomach ache. Thankfully, I recovered quickly and have returned to Koko Monk many times since.
Dear Black Pearl, I grant you fast access to the pearly gates. You are a saint amongst hot chocolates, and my hot chocolates are better because of you. You are a true treasure, a real rarity, and if your home at Broadway is to ever close, all my outfits may turn black.